But hey, that's not who you came here for, right?

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A big and beautiful teng bong in my endangered heritage language Kristang to you and all those you love and cherish. My name is Kevin Martens Wong and I am the Tuan Raja Naga, 13th Kabesa or singular leader of the creole, urban indigenous Kristang people of Singapore, Melaka, Perth and other places worldwide. I am severely and consistently abused by the government of the Republic of Singapore, which is why you have never heard of me :) I am also the Makaravedra or Dragon Reborn of the Mundansa Hierosa or Holocene or Fifth Age of humanity, and the Merlionsman and Dreamtiger of the Republic of Singapore: a teacher, life coach, writer and independent scholar-practitioner born, bred and based in Singapore and trained in Solutions-focused Therapy (IASTI CSFP), and a living, breathing, human magnamakara or psychoemotional gate guardian of this beautiful island and all of the people who call it home. I am creole and mixed (Kristang / Portuguese-Eurasian / Peranakan / Hakka), gay, gay married, non-binary, atheist, hyperhigh-functioning neurodivergent (autism & ADHD), a rape, molest and sexual assault survivor, an autodidact/polymath, and am nationally and internationally recognised for my award-winning work in linguistics, language and cultural revitalisation, non-Western analytical psychology, mental health and well-being and trauma negotiation, speculative history and creole/indigenous cosmology, creative writing and teaching and coaching, especially the language revitalization initiative Kodrah Kristang, the new grassroots creole/indigenous LGBTQ+-friendly neurodiverse and layperson-accessible theory of the human psyche called the Osura Pesuasang or Individuation Theory, used to garner 60% distinction rates for 8807 H1 General Paper and 100% distinction rates for 9509 H2 Literature in English at the Singapore-Cambridge GCE A-Levels, the Kristang cosmology and hidden history of the world, the Roda Mundansa, the world's first creole/indigenous duodecimal and hexadecimal counting systems, the Lusembra and Diseides of Progenitor Kristang, the first substantial academic scholarship on Eurasian and Kristang literature in Southeast Asia, the first ever Kristang MRT rapid transit map of Singapore and Periodic Table of the Elements, the formalised version of the Kristang practice of dreamfishing or Sunyeskah, and a whole bunch of new Kristang and English songs as Kabesakevlar / Kevlarhead. I do my best to express myself fully, joyously and maximally in this uncertain and confusing time in spite of everything I face on a daily basis as leader of my people and of all human beings who seek a fairer world, and I'm out here ready to show you how you can too, if you're ready to be bold, brave, beautiful and brenas inside and out.